Brace yourselves, readers. You're entering a blog with belligerent rants/reviews, chaotic writings, incompetent; pointless fangirling... and, oh yeah, GIFS. Fuckloads of them... did I also mention some swearing? I'm an eighteen-year-old girl majoring in Theatre Arts. I may not be an excellent writer, but gosh, I love doing it.
DNF @ 345
"Inspired by the childhood classic Alice in Wonderland"
I gotta admit: This book had me glued.
Too bad it was in a negative way.
- Who are you?
- Your doom.
Sure, there were some redeeming scenes in here that'd make me give it another star,however, this has got to be the most disappointing; fucked up "romance" slash "zombie" novel I've ever read in 2013 that will not make me do so. I don't know if I can write a review for this because my brain is a mess from reading this mess.
I didn't mind the sex jokes, I thought they were pretty funny.
I didn't mind SOME of the make out scenes, I thought they were pretty hot.
What I did mind were:
The confusing love triangle
The back and forth I-want-you-I-don't-want-you never ending cycle
The mediocre writing
The sad excuse of a mystery
The fact this is supposedly a reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland
The spirit sucking "zombies"
and, oh yeah,
I think I hate the Nana more than any other characters in here -- how could this woman be so daft as to leave two guys (Cole and Gavin) alone with her only granddaughter? Why would she let Gavin barge his way into their house making demands and literally saying he's staying the night? I'm not fucking kidding:
"I don't know about you, but I'm starving. I'd love a chance to cook you dinner to thank you for allowing me to sleep on your couch."
The grandmother didn't say anything about dinner, and she damn sure didn't flip shit when he invited himself over. Instead, this is what she said:
"It'll be nice to have a man around the house."
Then she GIGGLES, "GIGGLES LIKE A SCHOOLGIRL -- A DIRTY, DIRTY SCHOOLGIRL". Don't believe me? It's on page 279-280.
She lets Ali, her granddaughter, constantly bail on her, she doesn't talk to the granddaughter. She just sits and wait, always letting Ali choose her love interests over her.
And speaking of Ali
Ali puts Cole first instead of her Nana, she constantly gives Nana an excuse on why she can't have dinner with her, or talk with her, or hang with her, etc. "I'll make it up to you, I promise," she always says. After skimming the book once I hit page 345, she has yet to do so.
When the douchebag Cole tells Ali to ask questions about him since he agreed they didn't really know a thing about each other, guess the first question she asked...
"Who was your first time?"
Of all the fucking things, this dumb bitch asks who was his first time. You could have asked him what his morals were, what he sees himself doing in five years, what're his political and religious views, SOMETHING THAT'S FUCKING IMPORTANT.
On top of that, she straight up said "dying is truly living"?
Do you know the meaning of living? Do you know the meaning of dying? Once you're dead, you're fucking dead. Your flesh is rotting, you're turning into ash, you will be nothing. How is that living?
I just can't with her...
This book could have been a dark and mysterious read, but the angst, drama, and misunderstandings were too much for me. The "romance" and "love triangle" defused the whole point in this novel. SO many things are left unexplained. I think Gena became a little bit lazy and started whipping up some superfluous shit to make this story all the more "entertaining". I hated this a lot more than I did Alice in Zombieland. Cole really pissed me off; the characters were so bland . I gave the second book a chance and it failed; I'm not picking up the third.